Melissa

12:58 am: well i typed what i had and it didnt post, so

pizza:
cheese 90
sauce 110
flat out bread 110
veggies 20

ice cream 90
popcorn 120


+ 79 from earlier

total- 619

Not 800 for the last day of my not-really-2468 lol

11:56 am: minus 20 cals from last night, I ended up not eating all my popcorn, so yesterday i ate a total of 599 cals LOL i'm going for 400 today. that means I can have a slices of cheese pizza at work, and something here...

I have a horse show the 29th, and a party to go to the 28th, i want to be back down to 137 or lower by then

today i was still 139, i will scream if i get back into the 140's I really need to motivate... I need to somehow stop myself from eating when im not hungry, just because there is free food available....

I think what it is, I starve myself till i go to work so i can eat at work, but im so hungry by the time i get to work i binge and then i get fat and depressed and thats that lol

I'm going to go eat something to fill me up for work... 200 cals home 200 cals work is my goal. I can do it!

12:50 pm: so i had:

flat out bread- 110
veggies- 10
sliced low cal turkey- 50
low cal mayo- 20
pickles- 10

total- 200

10:17 pm: i just had a stupid ice cream binge... i feel so sick now, I took laxies. I stopped for a few days but i need them, im out of control without them...

I need to regain control, tomorrow im going to have dinner with my hubby (cornish hens) and veggies... so i have to set my calorie intake pretty high, im going to say... 600 cals for the day, the hen is 300 cals and the veggies im sure wont be more then 100 cals... We wont eat till really late so i need something to hold me through the day, I did good at work 1 tiny slice of mushie pizza with no cheese!

So despite my somewhat good day I screwed everything up with m&m ice cream with fudge swirl

I need to motivate! I NEED TO!

11:02 pm: well after some advice i decided to purge, i stopped when my dinner started to come up... I know its not much of a help and doesnt do much but, I weighed myself before and after and i was 2lbs less after, and no more ice cream to make me feel fat. i feel kinda dizy now... and im going to take more laxies in a minute (obviously i barfed them up)oh well... Ice cream i was told is the easiest to purge, and it doesnt taste too bad either... i mean its still nasty, but at least its chocolatey!